Our move is becoming real to us. I feel the shift into limbo, as if we have moved into an alternate dimension where we are not quite connected to our current reality. We’re floating.
Whereas before, the move to Thailand was a thought lurking in the back of our minds, now it has become an ever present cloak surrounding our every thought and action. Our shopping patterns have shifted: buying things for Thailand, not buying things because we’ll get better ones for cheaper there.
We spend more time with friends, knowing what time we have with them is limited. I feel a tug in our hearts and their’s: a need to enjoy what we have now and a (squeeze-your-eyes-shut-and-close-your-ears kind of ignored) need to pull away, to protect from sadness.
We talk about how ready we are for a change: how we need more space, how we no longer feel at home in our shoebox apartment, how we need to be shaken from our rut. We need to get out of our element so we will no longer be so caught up in the trivial, the minutiae, that have begun to dominate our existence. We need to break free.
It occurs to me that we will have a summer in perpetuity. This summer will just begin to slip away as we board a plane to an even hotter one. I imagine arriving in Bangkok, and even from this distance, I can feel the wall of heat that greets you once you step off the plane. I can see the old orange décor of the terminal and feel the sweat begin to line its way down my spine. I feel the fear of, for the first time, getting into a different customs line than my husband. I feel the frustration mixed with excited anticipation as we lug our heavy suitcases – more things than either of us will have ever traveled with before – to a waiting taxi.
In my mind’s eye, I step into the heat. I am wearing my brown Prana shirt and turquoise skirt, and I am standing in the warm tropical rain, my hair curling around my face from the humidity. I feel the splatters of water and mud across my sandaled feet as I flag down a motorized rickshaw.
It’s like a memory that hasn’t happened yet.
I can’t pray for the days in between to melt away because there is still so much to do in what little time we do have. And yet, I can’t help but be impatient for the next stage to become this day.
I have slipped down one level in the dream state and I’m waiting for the kick.
This week’s challenge: Trim the fat. Write anything you like. Then go back and eliminate all the adverbs (if you’re extra daring, you can try adjectives too…using color is okay though). Erase anything that ends in -ly. Then rewrite those parts/phrases to mean what you meant, without using the adverb. Link it up in the comments section below! Please do stop by to see what others have written too and send them some love!
Next week’s challenge: On Being Peace. [capitalization intentional]
Have fun! I can’t wait to see what you all come up with!
P.S. I know not all my readers have blogs, and/or some topics you may not want to share what you’ve written. If you just leave me a comment saying you’ve participated or even just thought about what you would write, I’d be gratified to know!