To say the past month has not been easy on me would be an understatement. I spent most of it just filled with anger
Sadness. The thing was, I didn’t even realize just how anger full I was. I knew it was a bad time. But sometimes feelings sink so deep, they are so pervasive, you don’t even know they’re there because there is no counterpoint left with which to perceive them. They fill out all your limbs, all your fingers and your toes, until it all seeps out of your pores like the stench of gin after a hard night. Sometimes you wall yourself off from your own emotions, because you sense you haven’t the strength to stand up to them.
And then, in an unexpected moment, I read this line: Accept life as it is.
I realize that line standing by itself sounds like defeat, but the way I read it in that moment, it spoke to me like this: Forgive life for being difficult sometimes.
Like anyone we love, sometimes life is a right pain in the a–. Sometimes it fails to meet our expectations. Sometimes it has ideas of its own of what it wants from us. So sometimes we need to forgive life for being what it is.
I read that line and all of a sudden, the three-year-old that had been crying and wailing and flailing his arms stopped, sniffled a bit, and sat down. There may have been a tear or two on his little cherubic face, but he was quiet.
I realized I had been fighting against life, throwing a righteous tantrum deep inside, that I didn’t even feel until suddenly there was quiet. An unclenching of a stomach that had been rock hard for a month.
So I stopped fighting and found a little bit of forgiveness and a moment of calm. I discovered that peace doesn’t always mean that you’re a happy, smiling little Buddha all the time. But when you let it in, it is like letting in the light.
Lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu
a mantra for peace
This week’s challenge: On Being Peace. [capitalization intentional] Follow this topic wherever your heart takes you. Then, link it up in the comments section below! Please do stop by to see what others have written too and send them some love!
Next week’s challenge: Free
You can take that any way you like.
P.S. I know not all my readers have blogs, and/or some topics you may not want to share what you’ve written. If you just leave me a comment saying you’ve participated or even just thought about what you would write, I’d be gratified to know!