Don’t turn your head. Keep looking
at the bandaged place. That’s where
the light enters you.
And don’t believe for a moment
that you’re healing yourself.
~ Rumi, from Childhood Friends
This week, my bigger picture moment is one
met in silence. Where light and poetry coalesce
and my own language
is paltry in comparison
to the cavernous space within.
My earliest memory is, I’m quite sure, from the age of about two or three years old. I’ve read before that most people’s earliest memories are from the age of four or five, three at the earliest, because before that, children aren’t yet able to observe a scene with the requisite level of rationality.
Nevertheless, I’m quite certain–at least to the extent this memory is real and not just some conjuration of my imagination, a fabricated patchwork of feeling and old photographs–that I was not yet four years of age.
In my memory, I was with my mother in the kitchen of our small apartment in Mississippi. My sister might have been there too; I’m not sure, and the more I try to focus in, the more the figures and shapes melt away. I keep a distance, in order to prevent myself from disintegrating the memory with my clumsy-handed mind.
My mother was offering breakfast to me. I recall the choice was bananas or eggs and I chose bananas. For many years, I didn’t like to eat bananas, but when I was a baby, I did.
I recall flashes of rust-brown-red, avocado-green, and creamy white from the colors of the kitchen and the living room. I remember the curl of my mom’s hair, which was long and black in those days. I have a vague awareness of sitting in a child’s seat at a small table, and perhaps the fridge behind me, and I recall dim sunlight streaming from the side, through a window. I remember feeling cared for.
Is this a portent for my life, that the earliest memory is one of food and love and the interconnectedness between the two?
Each Thursday, we come together to celebrate living life with intention by capturing a glimmer of the bigger picture through a simple moment. Have you found yourself in such a moment lately? Share it with us!