Voluptuous

I’m getting round. While I haven’t put on much in the way of poundage, I’m definitely rounder. My breasts are fuller, my hips are widening, and my stomach in verging on rotund – especially after eating, or if I haven’t pooed in a while (It’s true! I’m short…there’s only so much space up in here.)

I can still hide my pregnancy if I wanted to (it would not be comfortable), but when I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself, there is no mistaking the development.

I am Venus.

While my body probably looks more like Botticelli’s version…

…there are plenty of days I feel more akin to the Willendorf variety.

Earlier today, I watched a BBC documentary called, When God Was A Girl, and it was about the history of religion and the important and powerful role women played, how humans used to believe in woman as the creator of life…and death…and the fertility of the earth was linked to the fertility of woman. That is, of course, until male patriarchy came into play and eradicated that train of thought.

I looked on at the statues and imagery of women, and they were all voluptuous and round. Full breasted and rotund, and even at this distance of time and space, they seemed to exude power. These were no waifs (which got me wondering whether the new societal ideal – it is relatively new, historically speaking – of the stick-figured woman is another form of patriarchy, holding up weak, undernourished women as sexy because they appear more easily dominated….but that’s a whole nother topic…). No cute little missies in history. No the powerful women of history could hold up their space.

It’s ironic that I spent the vast majority of my life obsessing over every inch and pound, wanting to get rid of several of them. And now, I run my hands down the sides of my breasts and over the fullness in my belly, and I feel vibrant. I feel alive. There is new life inside me and that is a heady feeling. My husband explores the new curves and weight and kisses where the babe grows inside. I enjoy the roundness of my body because it echoes the fullness of life, connecting me to the millennia of women before me, connecting me to Mother Earth herself.

I am woman, and that is a beautiful thing. It’s life-giving.

For the month of March, Bigger Picture Blogs is celebrating the turn from winter toward spring with the theme: Rejuvenate! Come join us: Rejuvenate your heart, rejuvenate your soul – pick up your pen, your camera, and your spirit!

Find all the ways you can blow some fresh air into life and link it up with us at Bigger Picture Blogs!

Live. LoveCapture. Encourage.

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10 thoughts on “Voluptuous

  1. Such a beautiful, magical, wonderful time! I'm sure (if you're like the rest of us) you'll have plenty of days of feeling like that second image…but when you do, reach for these thoughts because you expressed the wonder and self-love so beautifully here!

  2. I love these new feelings you're having — it IS so amazing to feel the power of your body, to revel in your womanhood. I know *exactly* what you mean :)

  3. *Happy Scream* I didn't know you are pregnant! Oh, my gosh, what wonderful news!
    I remember feeling like you describe. Never in my life did I feel as healthy and in tune with my body as I did while pregnant.
    Congratulations!

  4. While one does not want to gain so much weight that it will still be around when the child graduates from college… I do remember feeling a huge sense of relief when I was pregnant. Suddenly being anorexically thin was not the thing. You were supposed to have a little tummy. And it was supposed to get bigger! Woo hoo. What a relief to have that one critical social voice silenced for a while.

    And I am very glad that your dear T can appreciate the beauty of the body that will give him a child. He should. He is right bright and that's good.

    Just stay healthy. Train carefully and gently for the big physical job that will be birth. It is said to be like a marathon or climbing a mountain.

    Much love!!

    • Since diabetes runs in my family, I still have to be careful with my diet and watch those numbers on the scale. But so far, I'm right on track and the doctors are happy with my progress. But yes, it is SO nice to be able to look in the mirror and not see flaws for once. And it feels good that T appreciates this side of womanhood too. It's very re-affirming!

  5. I'm so proud of you for embracing the change – that's one of the things that freaks me out A TON about pregnancy

    • Not gonna' lie…the changes freak me out too. Not so much the getting bigger and rounder part, but just all the other little things that come with pregnancy, and feeling like your body isn't entirely your own anymore. But so far, the actual going through it part isn't so big or scary as it was in anticipation. Let me get back to you on that later, after labor & delivery, though. That still scares the heck out of me and I do sometimes freak out about this ride I'm on and that there's no getting off it. At those times, I stick my thumbs in my ears, and go "LA LA LA" (metaphorically speaking, of course) and try not to think about it other than to just tell myself it's just one day out of a lifetime. I can handle one day.

  6. Oh, Jade,, what wonderful news!!! So happy for you and T,

    As to the changes in your body and all things with your pregnancy, all I can say is REVEL. Revel, my dear. :)

  7. I love this – what a beautiful way to embrace the changes your body makes during pregnancy. I need to continue remembering that the curves and lumps of my postpartum body are STILL beautiful, because they tell stories of three children who were carried, nourished, and birthed from my womb. I love this piece. And also – WOO HOO for a baby on the way!