If I invited you over to meet Cy today, you’d totally laugh because he’s been one serious fart machine all day long. Farting while eating, farting while diaper changing, farting while playing, farting while sleeping…waking up, farting, then going promptly back to sleep…he’s done it all. His dad is very proud. I’m wondering if it had anything to do with the green mango I ate for lunch yesterday. I looked up green mango online to see if it causes gassiness in breastfed babies and I came across a site that advocated variety in the breastfeeding mother’s diet, then listed all the things one should avoid eating, such as: spices, dairy, vegetables, citrus fruit, caffeine, and of course alcohol. I think meat and carbs were the only things not listed. Sounds like a fantastic diet to me.
Speaking of breastfeeding…I’ve developed a curious habit. Whenever I nurse Cy, I find myself picking at him: clearing out the shmuckus of cotton fibers that collect between his fingers, wiping away at any stray hairs, and cleaning any crusty bits that have accumulated. I think it’s probably some kind of primal, primate grooming instinct. Call me Mother Gorilla.
Another bit of weirdness: I have absolutely no trust in my ability to sense temperature any more. When I was pregnant, I became several degrees warmer, and felt hot all the time. When Cy was born, I seemed to go back to normal, at least, I thought so because I could suddenly get cold again. But now, I think it’s warm, others say it’s freezing. I’m cold; Toby says he’s roasting. Sometimes I feel warm, but my skin is cool to the touch. Crazy hormones, maybe? I blame them. Either way, I’m still usually hotter than I like, and I long to be somewhere that I can actually wear a sweater. Or socks.
Anyway, Cy just turned 8 weeks old, marking now what people say is the tail end of the crazy parental hazing period. Things are getting easier–though I can’t always tell because sometimes I do feel like I’m still recuperating from the earlier hard. Taking care of the little one is easier in the sense that he is sleeping longer at night (usually), we’re getting better at figuring out what he needs and getting his needs met, and we’re freaking out less about the little things that used to be a challenge. Things are also getting better because he’s more interactive. He and I share a lot of moments that I wish I could freeze frame and hold onto forever, like when I make a funny face or sound and he smiles like it’s the best thing in the world, and I love his how happy he looks, and feel sad at the same time for being the only person in the world who got to see that cheeky grin and look of surprised pleasure.
Now, the challenge is figuring out how to balance Cy’s needs with our needs and with the demands of regular life. The past few days, I’ve gotten a bug up my butt to knock off all the items on our to-do list that have been piling up or gone neglected while we’ve been barely treading water taking care of a newborn. It was a productive string of days, but it sure did catch up with me. I’ve been exhausted and feeling like I’m fighting the beginning of a cold. And with the lack of sleep comes also the hints of Crazy Town Jade again. So we’ve been real careful to make sure I’m getting rest again, and that has helped a lot. But it is oh so clear how easy it is to overdo things, and how quickly things can get out of whack. So. Balance. That’s the next bit to work out. I sense that’s probably going to be an ongoing challenge.
But it’s okay, really. I don’t expect to get it right. We’re finding normal again–a different kind of normal, but our new normal. It may be hard, but I’m actually looking forward to it.
How can I not, when I’ve got this little one to love on?
Thing I Love About Cy Today: He makes a little cry that sounds like “mmm….LEH!” and pouts so hard, I can’t take it seriously because it’s just too friggin’ cute.