Moments I’ll Miss

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They say the time goes by so fast and that you’ll miss these baby years. Since I like to learn from the experience of others I’ve been very intentional about soaking up every milestone and every phase, even the ones that are hard and that I wish would pass by faster because I know I only get one chance to be his mom and I don’t want to have regrets. So for the most part I’ve found the joys of each stage of his growth thus far and welcomed each new one without much wistfulness or nostalgia for the ones that have passed.

But there’s one thing I know I will miss when it goes. One thing that imparts that beautiful ache more than any other. One thing I already miss even as I enjoy it.

It’s the moment when we see each other and I smile real big and open my arms real wide….and he lights up. He blisses out and he comes running, delighted to see me, over the moon that I am happy to see him. It fills me up and breaks my heart that the simple fact that I love him means so much.

He won’t always come running.  One day my love will embarrass him even if he secretly appreciates it. To be a mother is to celebrate fullness with full awareness of impending loss. This is one of the moments I’ll miss.

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8 thoughts on “Moments I’ll Miss

  1. such a beautiful thoughtful post. These precious childhood moments go so fast. You need to stop and appreciate them while you can. I know – I am onto my second round of precious moments with my grandchildren. they are growing up so fast!

  2. it's true – my son is 13 and tells me before we go anywhere – don't talk to me in public . . . you'll embarrass me

  3. Jade, just think: someday you will be waiting in an airport luggage claim area searching the faces of passengers and then you will see an impossibly tall Cy, also looking for someone. You will see a bit of that old smile and maybe a little nod of his head as he heads straight for you, no longer bothering to see the other people waiting. And you will open your arms real wide, reaching up now rather than down. It will amaze you that your love for him and his for you will last far past that temporary phase of embarrassment. It will probably still break your heart a little, though.