I stumbled across his book after a friend posted a link to the author’s speech. You should watch it first. It will give you a really good idea what his book is about. Plus he’s a really entertaining speaker.

His book is called The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything, and oh my is it ever true. He makes a lot of beautiful points about what it takes to find what he calls “the element”: that nexus between aptitude and passion, where what you’re good at meets what you love doing. Through countless examples of really successful people who found success through extraordinary means, Robinson shows how so many people go through life thinking they are not creative, or they’re not particularly good at anything, when nothing could be further from the truth. But true creativity, authenticity, and talent gets crushed by our educational system because it promotes one kind of success, one way of thinking, one route to fulfillment, and it’s becoming ever more standardized and forces children ever more towards conformity.

But when it comes to learning and growing and performing, there is not just one style. He says, “Never underestimate the vital importance of finding early in life the work that for you is play. This turns possible underachievers into happy warriors.” Never underestimate the importance of work that for you is play. We have such a social stigma, don’t we, against actually enjoying our work? People who love their jobs are said to be the lucky ones. Imagine what life would be like if we all allowed ourselves to pursue work that was our passion. Work we hate takes too much energy. It saps the life out of us. Work we love? It gives us energy. It gives us life. And yet, we put ourselves in “sensible jobs” to pay the bills, have stability, etc. because we’ve been told what we really love isn’t a viable option. But as Robinson says, “doing something ‘for your own good’ is rarely for your own good if it causes you to be less than who you really are.”

This isn’t just about personal fulfillment either. If people are pursuing their passions, they work to the fullest of their capacity. Therein lies the magic to maximizing human potential. We don’t just need this as individuals. We need this as a society to grow.

This message isn’t just for the young trying to find their way. It’s for anyone still looking. It’s for mothers with children for whom school doesn’t have a spark, or doesn’t tap into and allow enough space for learning in the area where the child’s heart is. It’s for people looking for a second or even third career. It encourages you to think about how it is you think and learn, in what ways you are intelligent and passionate. And it re-envisages the boundless ways you can use your particular strengths. Maybe you’re really good at memorizing baseball stats. Useless as that may seem to others, who knows…you could just be a really fantastic sports team manager. Maybe you love gardening…who knows, maybe there’s a life for you in landscape design. The point is, it is never too late to try to find it.

He makes a fabulous point about how the education system only prepares for the world as it is now and leaves us hopelessly unprepared for a changing and dynamic future. But the future is incredibly dynamic. Think how much change has occurred just over the past 2 decades. Can any of us say with any certainty what 2030 will look like?

I’m increasingly convinced too that the one career or one job for your entire working lifetime model of our parents’ generation is becoming obsolete. I think that for many industries and avenues for work, many of my generation will have multiple jobs and multiple careers over the span of their lifetime. Being able to adjust and roll with this requires a great deal of versatility and flexibility. It requires thinking about your skill set in broad, open-minded ways. For many of us, I think even the idea of working for large corporations is anathema to our deepest desires and happiness. Many will venture out on their own, as small business owners, freelancers, or otherwise self-made men and women. And for many of these paths, a college degree is not exactly what it takes to succeed.

Did I just really say that? *gasp* Yes I did. After teaching undergrads at the university level for the past 5 or so years, I’ve really begun to feel that pushing kids into college for that “all-mighty degree” is a mistake (perhaps one of even colossal proportions). We are told that you can’t get anywhere anymore without a college degree. Yet, once you get past the interview stage for most jobs…for how many of us has that degree actually mattered? It’s all about what you can do and what you have done. Meanwhile, kids plunk tens of thousands of dollars into a college education and at least 4 years (now going on 5 or more with budget cutbacks), and most students are just not plugged in. They’re not particularly interested in the subjects, certainly not as interested as they are in what grade they’ll get at the end and so they end up just floating through the whole experience. What an enormous waste of time and money for the students, and of expertise and know-how on the part of professors.

Of course I think education is important. But I don’t like this boilerplate model we’re adopting. I think many students would be far better served taking some time off after high school to work or travel to find out what it is that really motivates them. When they find their passion, then they should go to school for it. They’d get far more out of the experience. And it may be that a university is not the best place for them to learn. For a lot of careers, what employers are looking for is talent, not a GPA and magna cum laude. So it may be that looking into a trade school or a series of workshops and working internships is the way to go. Some guidance and feedback is always helpful. But sometimes people really do just learn best and discover their own unique contributions most efficiently simply by doing.

Anyway, take a look at the speech. If it speaks to you, I urge you to try the book.

I had a wonderful birthday and I’me thinking of luggage and flowers and vintage and fabrics. I’me feeling inspired and relieved, contrary and perniculous. I don’t know why I’me saying such things but the words pop in my head and what am I to do? There’s so much work to do tomorrow fbut for the moment, I’me relaxing. We watched Stand By Me and Toby said he didn’t like the name of the movie it was too romantic. But I think it draws more attention to the relationship between the boys than Stephen King’s title “The Body”. But we ate so much this weekend and the food was so good. And it really was good to have my parents in town. I really am lucky to be close to them. I know many people aren’t close to their parents the way I am. They have given me lots of things to think about in Thailand. But mostly they’re easing me from having too many thoughts. I guess that’s why I said I’me feeling contrary. So many mixed thoughts and feelings. So much running around, throwing around. Colliding around in my skull. I need to take a breathe. I need to breathe. It’s too hard to breathe with too mch shite on top of your head. But I’me getting out. I will get out. Just a little while longer. Toby said it’s been too long since I’ve really just sat back and enjoyed where I am in life. And it made me want to cry. Because it’s true. I need to get to that place. I need to take a step back and just get to a place where I can just enjoy. Enjoy enjoy enjoy enjoy enjoy. Like chocolate cake and raspberries. Like birthdays and vintage. Like stickers and snowmen. Pastries. Swimming pools and margaritas. What time is it? 3:47 left. I’me staring at the screen and The Yellow Suitcase is in the back of my mind. I want to do more research. I want to flesh out the ideas for my next book. Japan. Picture brides. Home. But I must wait. Just a little more. Then I can focus. I just have to get to a space where I can let myself focus. Like my dad says. When am I going to get these monkeys off my back? Time to get rid of the self-imposed monkeys. Fuck the monkeys. Pardon my French. So let’s sew. I’ve got some great fabrics. I just got to get rid of my fear of making a mistake. Nothing lost if I mess up. Just learn. Learn to have patience. One step at a time. One step at a time. I’ve never been good at that…I need to practice one step at a time. Then I won’t be so scattered. I’me so scattered. So scattered.

You’ve got 10 minutes. Don’t think. Just write. No holds barred.

Then just post the link in the comments below!

Next week’s challenge: “If I were a bag of some sort, I would be a…”
Fancy purse? A backpack? Reusable? What would you carry?

“None of us comes into the world fully formed. We would not know how to think, or walk, or speak, or behave as human beings unless we learned it from other human beings. We need other human beings in order to be human. I am because other people are.”
– Desmond Tutu

“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.”
–Pema Chodron

“I needed to experience despair…in order to experience grace.”
–Siddhartha, Hermann Hesse

“Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears. In the end that’s all there is: love and its duty, sorrow and its truth. In the end that’s all we have – to hold on tight until the dawn.”
– Shantaram, David Gregory Roberts

“Some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. Some things are so sad that only your soul can do the crying for them.”
–Shantaram, David Gregory Roberts

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
–Anonymous

“A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.”
–Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Are there any quotes that have been important to you?

I’m annoyed with Mr. Linky, so just post the address/link to your blog post in the comments section below. I’m pretty sure it should automatically create a link.

Next week’s challenge: Complete this phrase: “I’m worried that…”

A few days ago, I came across this post from Memories on Clover Lane, and it totally inspired me to do something similar. It took me quite a bit of time to think through, but this practice helped me reaffirm who I am and who I want to be. It was like sweeping the cobwebs from the attic upstairs and opening a window to let in the light.

So here are my rules. I’m sure others might find fault with some of them (maybe most notably #9, under Rules for Lovin’), but I’m okay with that. Some of these rules come more easily to me (through practice and lessons well learned ::sigh::). Others, I still need to work on. But I’m getting there. Or trying to. I’m sure I’ll acquire new rules as I continue along this beautiful thing called life.

Rules For Livin’

1. Don’t put off cleaning: Cleaning up as you go is much easier and more pleasant than cleaning up later.

2. Keeping a food diary keeps you much more accountable for what you eat.

3. It is better to spend some after you’ve saved some.

4. It is better to live simply and live well than to live extravagantly or stingily. I would rather live in a small space and travel, than be counting my pennies (whether it is to pay the man now or putting off adventure until I’m too old and weary to enjoy it).

5. Carve out time to read a good book, even if it’s only 10 minutes before bed.

6. Taking a half hour for a walk is not only good for the body, it’s good for the mind.

7. Salt is not a guilt-free condiment.

8. Problems are not always problems.

9. When looking in the mirror, I should try to remember that there are more interesting things about me than the size of my thighs.

10. When nervous, just remember to “organize your butterflies.”

11. You’re never too old to have a role model; surround yourself with people who inspire you to become a better person simply through their presence.

12. Approach all endeavors with this mantra in mind: “Make with love, not haste.”

Rules for Lovin’

1. It is better to be happy than it is to be right.

2. Sometimes silence is the better response. Warning sign that this moment might be one of those times: {angry.}

3. Sometimes you have to speak up. Warning sign that this moment might be one of those times: {hurt.} {afraid.}

4. Praise your spouse in public but keep your disputes private. (By this I don’t mean that you shouldn’t talk to a good friend about your troubles, just that you should never argue with your spouse in front of others.)

5. Never let a good friend go: they are few and far between.

6. Eat dinner together as a family every night.

7. Self-martyrdom is not as selfless as we like to pretend.

8. After giving advice, endeavor to remain perfectly indifferent to whether the person takes it, and waste no energy in trying to ‘set people right’.

9. Never criticize or undermine the authority of your spouse, teachers, or other adult mentors in front of your children (except in cases of abuse, obviously). If they have a problem with that person, teach your children how to practice disagreement with respect. If you have a problem with that person, deal with it privately. Do not use your children to fill your own emotional needs.

10. Don’t hesitate to give a compliment, if it is genuinely meant. “Learn the art of encouragement. We can’t all be heroes all the time. Someone has to sit on the curb and clap.”

But I took every pill faithfully! my mind screams. I followed every direction. I took extra care. I did far more than most – and yet I am the one to carry. I was that .001% chance. I was the one for whom the precautions failed.

Days pass but I cannot bring myself to do what I know I must do. I am ill in the mornings, but I can never seem to purge myself of everything I wish I could. There is still something so deep it cannot come out.

I do not return any phone calls. I don’t answer when my boyfriend comes to the door. I ignore the concerned voices of my roommates. I slip into a cocoon to hide. To talk to anyone would be to make this real. Telling them of this would make it a reality I must face. Talking to them without telling them of this would make it a lie I must carry. But here in my cocoon, I can still pretend it has not happened.

But even that pretense cannot last.

The inexorable march of time means the day comes all too soon. There comes a moment when it is no longer possible to hide. I walk, with heavy feet, up the steps to my parents’ front door. My heart weighs more than my entire being.

They greet me with warm embraces. But then they pull away, concerned, when they see the truth in my eyes.

“There is something I have to tell you.” The words tumble from my mouth, but the buzzing in my ears is too loud. Tears stream from my eyes, blinding me, but still I see the looks on the face of my mother and father. These two strong, incredible people who have sacrificed everything to give me a better life, who have scrimped and saved to give me an education and opportunities, and who had grand hopes for the woman they would see me become.

All of that is squandered.

In the silence that follows, I know they are building up the courage to say it will all be fine; that we will find a way through this, that they will stand by me and still love me. It would take time and tears, but they would never forsake me.

But that is not the heart of the pain I carry. My pain remains, for the moment that I feared most has come to pass: the look on my parents’ face. The look that tells of their disappointment; that I have hurt them in the worst way possible – and yet they still love me. In that moment lies the worst of all: my shame.

————————————

This tale is a work of fiction. It tells of what would happen if my worst fears were realized. Getting pregnant is not a fear I have anymore, of course, now that I am married and am ready to start a family. But what it says about me is still true today. It used to be that my worst fear was getting pregnant. But when I follow the consequences through, I discover that underneath that fear was something deeper: a fear of shame and of disappointing my parents.

But that also tells me something else: what matters to me most is to never be the cause of hurt to those I love. Sometimes knowing your deepest fears helps you find the core of your heart and that is where you also find hope. Hope and fear, after all, are but two sides of the same coin.

What would happen if your worst fear would come to pass? How does that story play out in your mind’s eye? When you play that story out, do you discover something new about yourself?

Next week’s challenge: Write 10 reasons why you love the person you love
For Bonus Points: tell a story about a moment that made you remember your love for this person (+2 if you’ve been mad at them lately)

Through this challenge, I think my definition of feminism has not really changed, but I am much more inclined to call myself a feminist. I am a feminist in the sense that I care deeply about women’s issues and righting injustices and preventing harm from coming to the innocent.

BUT.

Though I call myself a feminist, I find myself increasingly disenchanted with a lot of feminist media these days. I’ve been following Bitch PhD and Bitch Magazine, and at first I appreciated their insight…until it started to seem as though “bitch” refers less to “empowered, self-realized woman” and more to the verb: for bitching seems to be just about all they do.

I have a problem with feminism when it says we need to break down societal expectations of what WOMAN should be – only to hiss and moan when women don’t choose their particular “liberated” vision of woman. It denies freedom of choice. It denies individual expression. It denies that there might be some value to the way some things have been done for centuries. And it denies the hard fact of biological proclivities. Women should not be forced to stay in the kitchen if their talents and interests push them into the office. But neither is it bad if a woman actually enjoys what she does in the kitchen. It’s stupid to pretend everything is socially constructed.

I have a problem with feminism when all it does is complain about the media. Bitch Magazine is one long series of gripes about some aspect of popular culture that did something to get their panties in a twist – interspersed with maybe a few anecdotes of examples that suit their ideal. It’s not a call to action; it’s a glorified tally sheet. It doesn’t inspire; it just hits the same button ad nauseum like a Pavlovian dog. It’s not forward thinking; it has become reactionary. Yes, there are problems with today’s media. Yes, there are elements of patriarchy dominating society (75 cents on the dollar, anyone?). But as far as I’m concerned, you can only push the victim button so many times before I lose sympathy – even if I’m in the same boat. There’s only so many times you can cry “victim” before I’m going to ask: Ok, but what are you doing to become a “survivor”?

I have a problem with feminism when it seeks to include minority voices – but then rejects the legitimacy of white, male voices. Far be it from me to be the vanguard of privileged white males! And I’m pretty sure anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis would know that. But I think it’s a false claim of “open, honest discussion” when white males are excluded. Yeah they’ve dominated the discussion for centuries, and yeah I’ll think some opinions are total crap, but that doesn’t mean they should be denied a place at the table when we discuss what we want of our society. (Maybe that’s because my husband is white and male, but I do value his opinion.)

So through a closer look, I’ve discovered that a lot of feminism is pretty much what I thought it was, and that is sad. However, through reading a lot of literature about strong women, I’ve come to remember once again what it is about the feminine voice that is worth listening to. Hearing women’s perspectives on the world and learning more about women’s contributions to society has animated me and activated me to do something more to help where it hurts. I don’t cry foul when girls wear pink, but I do take umbrage when girls give up on an education one week out of every month because they don’t have a bathroom separate from the boys. I don’t think it’s a travesty if women find role models from generations past, but I do shed tears when women are mutilated because it’s taboo to say “stop”. I don’t really care about the messages that pervade pop culture. I do care about the messages sent by parents, teachers, and church leaders, for these are messages sent every day by the people children love. They’re not something that can be shut off with a flick of a power switch. So, I haven’t become a feminist of the academic variety. Instead, I’ve become inspired to pursue my own brand of feminism, for whatever that’s worth.

I personally don’t find this lack problematic at all. I think it’s good for people to have role models. But it doesn’t follow that those role models must be all-in-one: my same demographic, same values, and same generation. That would leave little to aspire to, in my opinion. I looked to different people for different things. Some were women; some were men. Most were older – for how many 13-year-olds are truly accomplished? And they came from a myriad of backgrounds. What they had were various things I admired: Jackie O. for her grace and femininity, the Dalai Lama and Rev. Desmond Tutu for their compassion and humility, my mother and father for their strength…there’s no shortage of capable and amazing people in this world. These people did not even need to be indisputable paragons of virtue either. It was my vision of who they were and what they stood for that was important.

As for the lack of consensus on values, I again don’t find this problematic. Diversity is a good thing: it keeps us aware of our limitations and provides balance. When it comes to the difficulty of finding a handful of people to inspire a generation en masse, I think it is the result of a more rich and diverse society and a larger, more diverse media. Generations past, people had the choice of maybe 3 TV stations. Now they have hundreds. Back then it was probably easier to have a small handful of voices captivate the nation. But with so much competition nowadays, it’s more difficult for one person to reach the whole nation. The options now are so diverse you can easily individualize what you are exposed to and almost literally create your own experience. It’s more likely that you’ll get what you want and minimize exposure to what you don’t want, but it does lead to fragmentation, polarization, and disassociation. Add to that an increasingly diverse society, people just aren’t going to be moved en masse by the same ideals anymore. Instead, they find their niches.

However, having such fragmentation does raise a question that the article did touch upon, and that is: what does this mean for the collective? What are the consequences for collective goals and unity? I’m not sure anyone really knows the answer to that at this point. I do think there are signs, though, that our society is going through a massive and fundamental change. Post-financial crisis, people are taking a step back and rethinking their goals, and what they want their legacy to be. And I think there’s a lot going on where people are eschewing old boundaries and “ways things have to be done” and trying more innovative strategies (for example, finding ways to have the flexibility to work from home instead of at the office). With the help of the internet, I think communal ties are being redrawn: shaped less by locale and more by interest. In a way, things are becoming a little more small-d democratic. I personally find it inspiring to watch and I think the end result could be really empowering for a lot of people.

But when I posted that opinion elsewhere, the response was that defining community by superficial and transitory interests cheapens community, that we risk losing our depth as a community if we relegate it all to electronic media instead of spending time just being human, and that rather than people becoming more authentic, there is more of a herd mentality going on.

I don’t take such a bleak view. I think finding others who are also motivated by social justice, or organic gardening, or photography, or whatever can be profoundly inspiring – even if they’re thousands of miles away from you. I think it deepens our ability to connect with and empathize with people who are far away from us. I think the disaster in Haiti and the millions of dollars raised showed just how powerfully people can empathize with one another and how that empathy can be facilitated through electronic media. Sure we weren’t all on the ground there, helping people out of the rubble. But does that make the empathy – and dollars raised – any less meaningful? And just because we make ties through electronic media, that doesn’t mean our ties to family must be any less important. Connecting with people all across the globe does not diminish the quality of time I spend with my family and friends here at home.

Being social animals, I think there are a lot of impulses in human nature that produce conformity or cause people to follow others. I don’t think there’s any more evidence of a herd mentality than there ever was in history. To think so, I think is to forget a lot of human history. But when I look around me, I do see a lot of innovative thinking and a lot of people finding new ways to approach problems and finding different ways to live their lives. Probably, through social media, I see more of it because it’s easier to see what common individuals are doing that maybe isn’t so common.

Sure there’s a lot going on that’s frustrating as all hell. Sure there are many things I wish could be better. But when I look around me, I can see a lot of reason to be hopeful for the future. I think society is going through a very profound change. Not all of it will be good. But I find some of it, at least, very inspiring and empowering.

Little did I know it would send my life catapulting down the road I now travel. This road of writing, traveling, giving, and mentoring. It’s not quite anything close to how I used to envision how my life would turn out. But somehow it’s better than anything I could have ever envisioned before.

It’s amazing, this butterfly effect. How one tiny action, one seemingly simple little moment cascades into a tumbling waterfall of moments that snatch you – sometimes willingly, sometimes completely unawares – down a river you might never have known you’d traverse.

A declaration of independence. I’m actually quite struck by how apropos that is. I began with a book by that title, not by any design of my own.

But when I look back, I see this is what I’m doing: I’m declaring independence.

I’m declaring my freedom to choose a path less traveled.

I’m declaring my independence from fear. From “should”. And from other people’s rules.

I’m declaring my independence from “I wish I could” and exchanging it for “I Will.”

I Am.

I. Am. Me.

Where or when did it all start for you?

The Rules
You can respond in any way you choose. You can give a fictional response or a true one. You can use words, sentences, and/or photographs. If you have a blog, you can link it with Mr. Linky below. Please be sure to include “Tell It To Me Tuesdays” in the post, and link back to this post. Feel free to use the “Tell It To Me Tuesday” button available to the right. If you don’t have a blog, but want to join in, you can just leave a comment. Please follow the rules. I don’t want to have to delete links. I like links! Don’t make me delete them.

Next week’s challenge: “If I could travel in time…”

It is a dream I’ve wanted to chase, but never have before…for a lot of reasons. For love. For stupidity. For knowledge.

For fear. Maybe most of all, fear.

But now I have a partner in crime. Someone to make a leap with me and I’m not so afraid.

And now I’m a little older. Not too old, but I’ve seen enough to know how to put aside fear.

I’m eager.

In approximately six or seven months, my husband and I will move. Not down the street. Not upstate. Not even to another state, but to another country.

We’re moving to Thailand. I’ve never lived in a foreign country before. I’ve been there a few times before, but never longer than a month at a time. I speak some of the language and pick it up quickly when I’m there, but I will still be bewildered and out of my element. Here in America, I’m conscious of my Thai heritage. I suspect, in Thailand, I’ll become aware of just how American I really am.

We’ll be there for a year or two and then…we’ll see. My family is in Bangkok, but we want to live up in the north (where it’s cooler and a little less intense), preferably in a home that looks like this. Except with 4 bedrooms instead of 2 because we want plenty of space for family and friends to visit!

For so long I’ve wanted experience living abroad. It will an adventure and a challenge, from little mundane details on up to my sense of self. But especially since my writing deals with issues identity and culture, I think living abroad will give my writing more credibility.

And yet…writing is not all I plan to do. I’m getting the wheels rolling working as Project Director for the SOLD Project, an advocacy group in Thailand dedicated to preventing and helping victims of human trafficking and sexual servitude. I want to do what I can to help the girls (and boys) who go into the city trying to find work in restaurants or bars to support their families, but then end up abducted into prostitution. It is a black market so large, it competes with drugs and guns. It is so pervasive, numbers so large we can’t even comprehend – numbers of little girls and sold into slavery every day. It even has an impact, not only on national health, but also on GDP and terrorism. It is a problem we know about. But we don’t really know.

While I am in Thailand, I will help tutor these kids in English skills, accounting, and computer literacy, to help give them the tools they need to make a better life for themselves and their families. A better life for girls like her:

The really sweet spot is that my dissertation (which focuses on school environments and how the community you come from shapes your political attitudes, beliefs, behaviors – the values and skills you develop in becoming a citizen in a democracy) helped me form valuable relationships with local high schools in California. I am setting up a pilot program (and I already have a few teachers on board) creating an email penpal partnership between the kids in Thailand and their counterparts here in the U.S. The goal is, through this email relationship, the kids in Thailand will not only get practice in English literacy skills that can help give them an edge in finding a job, but also hopefully learn to dream about a better life, have goals for something better, through which they can gain the motivation to stay in school and not end up in brothels. The goal for the students here in the U.S. is to increase global awareness and cultural sensitivity – and learn how their simple actions can have far reaching implications. My program is called “Operation Shackle Free”. I’m starting with just a few classrooms, but pending success, I hope to grow the program over time.

Over the next few months, I’ll probably be posting quite a bit about our preparations for leaving. But once I’m there, I hope my blog will become a chronicle of the daily challenges, struggles, and – hopefully – triumphs as we embark on this journey. I hope to bring these kids’ stories to you too. To share their faces, their smiles and their dreams with you too.

But we’ll also take vacations from time to time, go to India, Burma…maybe Vietnam. Or we’ll keep it low key and head down to the beach:

(And we’ll avoid wearing red or yellow shirts.)

And if I had a chance to tell him something (other than that I love him), I would probably tell him something very similar to what my father used to tell me. My father always used to tell me to be a lady. What would a lady do or say? That is how I should behave.

So, I would tell my son: Be a gentleman.

It is not old-fashioned to be a gentleman; gentlemen are timeless. Gentlemanly behavior is not weak, nor does it seek to put others down. Gentlemen act with respect towards others as well as themselves.

Gentlemen take ownership. Of themselves, of responsibility, and of their lives.

They live not just for pleasure, but for a higher purpose.

Gentlemen give of themselves to their nation and their community. Whether it be through military service, civic duty, or mentorship, gentlemen do not subscribe to the notion that they are an island.

Gentlemen act not with narcissism, but with pride.

Think of your legacy, not just when you reach the tail end of your days, but also as you move through this beautiful thing called life. What legacy will you leave behind?

Have a dream of who you wish to be and what you wish for your life. Then go out and chase it with everything you’ve got. You can be anything you want, but you do have to work for it. Sometimes we succeed; sometimes we fail. But the most important thing is to put in the very best effort you can. And only you can know whether you’ve given it your very best. Be not afraid of failure, for failure happens to everyone. It is nothing more than the opportunity to learn and try again. The only thing to fear is not being true to yourself.

As your grandfather would say: Be true to who you are, and for that, you must know what your values are. Stay true to your values and you’ll never go wrong.

The Rules
You can respond in any way you choose. You can give a fictional response or a true one. You can use words, sentences, and/or photographs. If you have a blog, you can link it with Mr. Linky below. Please be sure to include “Tell It To Me Tuesdays” in the post, and link back to this post. Feel free to use the “Tell It To Me Tuesday” button available to the right. If you don’t have a blog, but want to join in, you can just leave a comment. Please follow the rules. I don’t want to have to delete links. I like links! Don’t make me delete them.

Next week’s challenge: Complete the phrase “It all started…”